The Monkeys Paw (a cursed wishes thread)

What are you wishing for? Tell us and other people will reply with how your wishes go bad.

To start, I wish to move to a house with more downstairs space

The monkeys paw curls…

You have a giant 200m deep well under your house now. It’s disused and dry

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I’d invite @The_Respected_User round and cover the well with a rug and leave a fresh pie in the middle of it

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I’d glance at that

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You’re a spiteful and vindictive little prick and I hope that you have an actively unenjoyable first quarter of 2023

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Just before we get started can I say: The Monkey’s Paw is brilliant, one of the all-time great horror stories.

Cheers.

As you were.

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Sorry, I’ve baked you a lovely fresh pie as a mark of apology and respect. I’m upstairs but I’ve left it out on a rug if you want to pop round for it

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What flavour is this pie?

All -bran

The monkeys paw curls…

Cum

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I’d wish for infinite monkey paws

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I’d wish to be able to magic up whatever food i want for me or anyone else at will.

You can reverse it? Like if I wish for something bad to happen can I get a disproportionate amount of good stuff happening to facilitate the bad thing?

Like I wish for me to knock my funny bone accidentally?

The food is constantly getting stuck in your teeth and you only realise when someone’s taken a photo of you.

Result!

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You start actually laughing and cannot stop laughing until Michael McIntyre delivers you a best man’s speech

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Oh…. I was hoping for some cash or something?