The moral of the story

Jack and the Beanstalk:
If you make a bad business decision, just make the money back by robbing some old bloke’s house

Goldilocks and the Three Bears:
Tony Blair

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Something I saw recently (possibly that Aaron Sorkin thing) correctly highlighted that it was actually a pretty good decision to trade the cow for the beans, all things considered.

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Little Red Riding Hood

If your granny looks like a wolf then gtfo

it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened

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Romeo And Juliet: And that’s why you leave a note

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Three Little Pigs: build your house out of bricks

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every story: non-males and brown people are bad

Hansel And Gretel: Do not trust anyone who lives in rural Germany

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Rumplestiltskin- if you’re going to dance around a fire shouting out your name, use a false one

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Lord Of The Rings; bros should stick together and be there for each other.

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The Snowman; have fun while you can because you’re gonna be fucking dead soon

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The elves and the shoemaker.

Someone else will do it.

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Wind in the Willows - posh toffs can do what they like and theres never any real comeuppance

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Lord Of The Rings: The one who controls the apache controls the world

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Seinfeld: No hugging, no learning!

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy - Anyone can be special oh wait no you actually need to inherit it after all.

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Star Wars prequel trilogy; maybe pull your angry murderous fascist mate up on his angry murderous fascism before it goes too far

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