Jack and the Beanstalk: If you make a bad business decision, just make the money back by robbing some old bloke’s house
Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Tony Blair
Something I saw recently (possibly that Aaron Sorkin thing) correctly highlighted that it was actually a pretty good decision to trade the cow for the beans, all things considered.
Little Red Riding Hood
If your granny looks like a wolf then gtfo
it’s just a bunch of stuff that happened
Romeo And Juliet: And that’s why you leave a note
Three Little Pigs: build your house out of bricks
every story: non-males and brown people are bad
Hansel And Gretel: Do not trust anyone who lives in rural Germany
Rumplestiltskin- if you’re going to dance around a fire shouting out your name, use a false one
Lord Of The Rings; bros should stick together and be there for each other.
The Snowman; have fun while you can because you’re gonna be fucking dead soon
The elves and the shoemaker.
Someone else will do it.
Wind in the Willows - posh toffs can do what they like and theres never any real comeuppance
Lord Of The Rings: The one who controls the apache controls the world
Seinfeld: No hugging, no learning!
Star Wars Sequel Trilogy - Anyone can be special oh wait no you actually need to inherit it after all.
Star Wars prequel trilogy; maybe pull your angry murderous fascist mate up on his angry murderous fascism before it goes too far
