The Mystery of the Socks

Pulled a pair of socks out of my drawer this morning and started to put them on, and realised they were not my socks.

‘hmm, they must belong to my flatmate’ I thought, and popped them on the clothes horse with the rest of his stuff. Job done.

When I returned from work the socks had been put on my door handle. Clearly my flatmate though they were my socks.

I messaged him.

‘they are not my socks’

He messaged back.

‘they are not my socks either’

You couldn’t write it.

So, who was sock? Where have the come from? Will they always be here? Do I have to wear them?

I thought my flatmate was having me on but all of his socks are colourful, and most of mine are black and boring. The socks are black. They’re very like the rest of my socks.

But they are not my socks.

Please submit your theories.


They are your socks but you haven’t worn them for so long you forgot they are yours.


Been wearing a pair of jeans I found in my drawer about a month ago, fit me perfectly, look good. Have no idea where they’ve come from. They’re my size, 30/32, but I didn’t buy them. It’s fucking bizarre.

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They are actually gloves (belonging to you)


Not possible, I know all of my socks. And I recently Marie kondo’d the shit out of my socks and pants drawers. I’m just not having it @laelfy

I’d never buy socks with a little man on a horse on them

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Ok so somebody broke into your house and was planning to rob you but they got a bit sleepy and had a nap. They got disturbed by one of you coming home and didn’t manage to get their socks back on before escaping. The socks are theirs.


That’s more like it.

Alternate explanation you got very drunk, had a one night stand but blacked out and can’t remember it. The socks are theirs.

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you stole them while in a fugue state and have no memory of it. possibly right off of a man’s feet.

I’ve got some socks a bit like that. They’re from Morrisons’ Nutmeg range. Does this help?

they are @badcustard’s socks


Oh fair enough yeah I agree they’re not yours

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Your flatmate has a rucksack that he took camping with his mates years ago and one of his mates socks got in there, not sure how it got from rucksack to washing machine though

I can account for all my Nutmegs thank you

they are mens socks and I’ve not slept with any men for like six months AND he didn’t take his socks off. Also I never get very drunk. Denied.



if they’re really from Morrisons then this is more interesting as we aren’t in Britain, so that’d be more evidence towards them being mine. But they’re bloody not.

yeah I thought it was weird but he was greek and he looked greek so I went with it because greek

Do people take their socks off to have sex? wtf