Now cats, cats we love - we love them don’t we folks? - cats - before I was president nobody was talking about them, nobody is talking about them, but I love to talk about my cat. People are saying - a lot of people - that there are more cats, and more beautiful cats, than there ever were under Barack OBAMA [pauses for boos and chants of “lock them up”] but, and I say this a lot, I really do folks, but I’m bringing beautiful cats back, and they’re more beautiful than ever, I think we all know that if we had to choose between clean, sensual cats and dirty nasty dogs, and we had to choose which one of them to make beautiful love to, it’d be - and I say this as someone who loves beautiful women - cats, folks. We love them. [procedes to kiss a cat to jubilant chants of “U S A”, camera pans to MAGA-hat wearing furries]
