I bloody love takeaway menus and the mad stuff they have on them. When I lived in London we got so many through the door that I tried starting a Twitter account dedicated to weird shit on takeaway menus, it didn’t take off, who can say why.
My favourite was this pizza place in West Norwood that made a big point of telling you how it was run by a former Pizza Hut employee so they knew everything about pizza. The menu had all the usual stuff on, but then there was a disclaimer warning customers that because they used frozen fish, all their seafood pizzas were ‘a bit soggy’. Then at the end of the menu they had a section for caramel pizzas, ie pizzas with caramel sauce instead of tomato sauce. They still had mozzarella and other savoury toppings on, it sounded absolutely rank, I loved it. Hope they’re still going.