The worst thing about cooking for more than one person

is portioning. Fucking nightmare if you’ve done a pasta dish with prawns or something and you want to get an equal allocation of prawns. Fucking nightmare.


“Here take more prawns I’ve got more prawns than you”
“No don’t worry I’ve got plenty of prawns”
“No, look, you’ve only got about four there, I’ve got at least seven here”
“Honestly don’t worry about it”

Awful stuff


Can’t even enjoy it as you’re eating it, just noticing more prawns in your own and feeling guilty


Planning on having one tonight and already sweating about this. Would be fine if you could just keep them separate but once you mix it all together the heavy prawns sink to the bottom of the pot/bowl/whatever and whoever goes first gets fuck all.

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Calling one of the guests ‘Mum’

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look at him. Took all the fucking prawns. What a piece of shit.I will write about this in my memoirs


Is the prerogative to have a little fun?


“The prawns aren’t even my favourite bit, honestly, I’ve got way more peas than you and I prefer them anyway, don’t worry about it!”
“Are you fucking joking? You prefer the peas to the prawns? You’re either an idiot or a liar, I’m not sure which is worse”
“There’s no need to talk to me like that, this was supposed to be a nice dinner and you’ve ruined it like you ruin everything, I can’t do this any more…”
“…what are you saying?”
“I don’t know… I’m just… exhausted that’s all, it’s been a long day. I might just have an early night”
“Erm… I thought we agreed that if I cooked you would wash up and now you’re going to bed!?”
“Oh just fuck off will you”


Also awful if you finish second and then have to eat knowing that you’re eating is being listened to and then trying to eat quieter which just prolongs it all…

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The washing up!

I hate to say this but there’s prawns in this. I don’t eat prawns.


I just want to have that button that I’m always banging on about where you can press it and just never need a midweek dinner ever again

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Worst is a noodle stir fry actually. It’s a nightmare even trying to balance the noodles with the other contents of the stir fry nevermind making it equal per portion


I reckon it’s a case of mushroom tagliatelle for me, no matter what you do those pricks won’t combine properly so you just end up serving one person a bowl of nothing but tagliatelle and then the other person gets the world’s highest amount of mushrooms ever seen in one dish and three laces of tagliatelle to go with them

Everything! I am not a good cook or particularly interested in improving, i can eat what i make even if it doesn’t taste good but am a ball of anxiety when cooking for others :sob: i don’t mind if it is bad if it just for me. Was trying to find examples and this is the birthday cake i made for myself in 2020

And a cake i made for fun in 2008


When I cook for myself I barely care about making it nice. Would probably just happily have a giant, raw and unseasoned mushroom for my tea if it filled me up.

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They look very nice :yum:


That is one of the most charming birds I’ve seen in the post-Bush administration era


If I’m using king prawns, I count them in to the pan and then count them out as I serve it. Anything else just gets done by eye though.

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I obviously haven’t tasted them but neither of those look disgraceful.

I would eat and probably enjoy them.

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