Theoretically getting away with a crime


#1

I haven’t committed any crimes but after watching a lot of CSI I have come to the conclusion that rather than being really careful with DNA etc. I would do the opposite and overload them with so many different types of DNA they couldn’t possibly find the write one. So bring a bag of hair from the local hairdressers or collect loads of pee from a local toilet and spread around my potential crime area. Experienced crims of Dis do think it would work?


#2

If you turn invisible do your fingerprints and DNA and shit stay invisible? If so I would simply turn invisible for the duration of my crime.


#3

Ice knife


#4

I would immediately admit to the crime as that is LAST thing they expect you to do and then they would probably just pursue other leads


#5

Thought I was on /r/legaladvice for a second there


#6

In Minority Report, Colin Farrell’s character is suspicious because of the abundance of evidence at a crime scene (I think “orgy of evidence” is the phrase he used), so that might be a way to go.

Leave your driving licence at the scene and a video of you committing the crime, and a note with where you’ll be for the next few weeks. The cops will assume you’re being framed.


#7

Its a good idea though they would have to way up the cost of all the work involved of doing the DNA work, by which time I wud be sitting pretty in Brazil with my 5p plastic bag!


#8

@AcceptanceIII to thread

Has anyone tried the ‘bag of hair’ trick? Suppose you could leave loads of second-hand clothes around too maybe. Also if you worked in a blood/sperm bank, that’s loads more DNA hmm brb


#9

Wud you wear any clothes why doing the crime?


#10

Murder she wrote?


#11

I would like to see that meddling old lady try and solve my case!


#12

I think I’ve shared this before but when I was on my journalism course a retired detective came in for the day to talk to us about working with the police, how investigations work etc. We asked him if he thought it was possible to come up with the perfect crime, and he said the two key things that made it incredibly hard to catch a killer were

a) If the victim / killer had no prior relationship
b) If the murder was committed outdoors

So feel free to factor that in.


#13

My DNA not for imitation,
Your DNA an abomination


#14

So running over cyclists counts as the perfect crime then.


#15

Add in:

c) liberally sprinkle hair from random people around the scene

And you’re onto a winner!


#16

ICE KNIFE


#17

motorcyclist granted… but it didn’t work for this bloke. He should have had a think about CCTV and paint samples before he put his foot down !


#18

ICE KNIFE MADE OUT OF FROZEN PISS


#19

The thing about DNA is that it’s surely only an issue if you’re already on a database?


#20

They say variety is the spice of life and its no different for crime, this would only work for murder what if I wanted to rob a bank?