There's a duck in my garden

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:30

Please advise

aboynamedgoo · 20 April 2019 08:30

Early UB40 lyrics, etc.

shrewbie · 20 April 2019 08:31

give it some sweetcorn

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:32

I’m not sure getting the duck drunk will help the situation. Plus it’s too early in the day for red wine.

Epimer · 20 April 2019 08:34

Tell it to duck off.

Epimer · 20 April 2019 08:34

Sorry, autocorrect. *fuck off

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:34

I tried giving him a corncob but he twitched his head at me. I don’t think he approves.

anon5266188 · 20 April 2019 08:34

Kiss it

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:35

He got a bit excited when I said duck but when I corrected myself he just went back to nosing around in the bushes

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:36

He’s not even bought me dinner yet!

Tuna · 20 April 2019 08:36

Dear Liza, Dear Liza

anon5266188 · 20 April 2019 08:37

Kiss the fucking duck! Enough excuses already!

NoahVale · 20 April 2019 08:38

^Food for thought

1101010 · 20 April 2019 08:43

What sort?

Avery · 20 April 2019 08:45

Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack

still_here · 20 April 2019 08:46

Give it some seeds

guntrip · 20 April 2019 08:48

Ducks are good

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:50

Status update: I had to nip out to the shop. I’m now back, duck is still there. Now somehow got himself onto a chair. I think I might have to concede the whole garden territory.

Rarity · 20 April 2019 08:56

I tore up a few bits of crust and tossed them over. It got him off the chair but now he looks even more settled. Not sure that really helped.

Yesiamaduck · 20 April 2019 08:57

I was very drunk last night