There's a duck in my garden

**Rarity** · April 20, 2019, 8:30am

Please advise

**aboynamedgoo** · April 20, 2019, 8:30am

Early UB40 lyrics, etc.

**shrewbie** · April 20, 2019, 8:31am

give it some sweetcorn

**Rarity** · April 20, 2019, 8:32am

I’m not sure getting the duck drunk will help the situation. Plus it’s too early in the day for red wine.

**Epimer** · April 20, 2019, 8:34am

Tell it to duck off.

**Epimer** · April 20, 2019, 8:34am

Sorry, autocorrect. *fuck off

**Rarity** · April 20, 2019, 8:34am

I tried giving him a corncob but he twitched his head at me. I don’t think he approves.

**Antpocalypsenow** · April 20, 2019, 8:34am

Kiss it

**Rarity** · April 20, 2019, 8:35am

He got a bit excited when I said duck but when I corrected myself he just went back to nosing around in the bushes

**Rarity** · April 20, 2019, 8:36am

He’s not even bought me dinner yet!

**tricklenipple** · April 20, 2019, 8:36am

we want to see the duck

**Tuna** · April 20, 2019, 8:36am

Dear Liza, Dear Liza

**Antpocalypsenow** · April 20, 2019, 8:37am

Kiss the fucking duck! Enough excuses already!

**NoahVale** · April 20, 2019, 8:38am

^Food for thought

**1101010** · April 20, 2019, 8:43am

What sort?

**Avery** · April 20, 2019, 8:45am

Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack

**still_here** · April 20, 2019, 8:46am

Give it some seeds

**guntrip** · April 20, 2019, 8:48am

Ducks are good

**Rarity** · April 20, 2019, 8:50am

Status update: I had to nip out to the shop. I’m now back, duck is still there. Now somehow got himself onto a chair. I think I might have to concede the whole garden territory.

**xylo** · April 20, 2019, 8:53am

Give him bread