In the interest of transparency and sticking to my principles and also keeping my views away from threads where people might be trying to enjoy themselves, here are some things I like and why I personally believe they are bad or problematic.
Will add more as and when I think about them.
Listening to history podcasts - Find it quite relaxing to hear a dull man tell me about old Roman people or whatever but politically the ones I listen to are so toothless and often subscribe to the great man theory of history. Glorifying and fetishising ancient empires because they kicked the shit out of smaller tribes and stuff is also obviously bad and that’s basically the narrative they all seem to go with
Making music - It’s fun for me and provides an outlet to escape myself and become absorbed with something that doesn’t make me feel anxious but on the other hand it’s narcissistic and arrogant to try and make something to stand out and appear more talented or expressive than another person might be. Also practically there’s little return on investment so I’m kind of putting myself in a worse financial situation to feed my ego which will result in a net negative impact on the world.
Mark Kozelek - Makes some very thoughtful and introspective music and has a knack with turning the mundane into something interesting and quirky for me. I think he has a good dry sense of humour that permeates his tracks and sometimes he will push the concept of something being boring to the point where it becomes funny and self-ware which I really like. On the other hand he is narcissistic and sexist, has a really high opinion of himself, brags about sexual conquests which is of course gross.
Violent videogames - Find something satisfying and therapeutic in a good shooty shooty bang bang game like a Wolfenstein or Doom, when the controls are snappy and the challenge is balanced right it can be a kind of absorbing and thrilling challenge. On the other hand, it’s disgusting that this kind of challenge is often presented in triple A videogames as shooting stuff, often people. Like stop to think about what they are reinforcing by saying it’s good and better to shoot a human being in the head because they die quicker and you can kill more people in quicker succession. Often no attempt is made to frame these opponents as human beings with lives and families, or people caught in a conflict, civilian casualties etc, really so many bad things about these.
Beer- it gets you drunk which is good and bad. Also wheat beer exists
Yeah I’d be a happier healthier and nicer person without alcohol so it’s definitely not good
I’d never tell you not to post something you’re feeling Bammers but there’s something genuinely upsetting about this. It’s ok to like things mate, it really is. And I’m not saying that in a dismissive, highfalutin way, it’s a necessity for getting through life x
I’m yet to find the point where I can reconcile things I like with the problems with them beyond just saying “well it makes me happy”. Could be constructive and good if I find a profound reason why enjoying stuff is ok
Playing tennis - Pretty fun and good exercise for me, it’s nice to gamify exercise a little as it allows me to push through past the point where I would find it tedious and just stop. Also allows me to socialise with my friends a little more. It’s free on the courts I use too, which is a plus. On the other hand tennis is a very middle class sport, don’t think I’d ever want to join a club or play with proper tennis people, there’s this air of superiority and politeness about it that I don’t like. Wimbledon etc
I mean, I’d suggest that it’s as essential as sustenance and oxygen or whatever
Food- Very often tastes nice but eventually you have to shit (inconvenient)
cutting the grass
Find it quite relaxing in a bringing order to chaos kind of way if I’m in the right mood and the smell of cut grass is nice but I’m killing stuff just to have a pretty lawn, I barely ever even go out into my garden. That’s pretty fucked up, stuff has to die so I have a nice view out of my window. Mostly only do garden work now because my neighbours have shamed me into it which also has annoyed me, like I don’t like to go outside now because I think they might be watching me or judging me.
It’s good that you still enjoy these things. It’s not uncommon to get to a point where it is very difficult to get any enjoyment in life and (particularly for middle aged men I think) contributes to a lot of anger. It can also be good to write things down so I hope putting these things down here is a positive exercise for you.
maybe I’ve just not found the right things that are ok to enjoy yet, could also be that
hey I’m only early 30s!
I get your point though, just this part made me laugh
ha ha - yeah. Was going to say I didn’t mean to imply you were middle aged!
laughing biologically it feels good to laugh, like it’s a release of hormones or something but it’s like mocking all the horrible suffering in the world to ignore this isn’t it
You don’t kill the grass by cutting it, in fact your maintenance of the lawn actually helps it to pollinate, you’ll have to find another reason why mowing bad (maybe because the noise is annoying to your neighbours).
killed a bee once by mowing over it, felt pretty bad about that.