I’ll start.
‘That’s actually my middle name!’
Hello Fred
9 Likes
“And now it is time for the sharing of trauma in place of intimacy”
4 Likes
Do you think Daddy Ass really has retired?
2 Likes
Hey asshole, my eyes are up here
2 Likes
Hey, eyes-
4 Likes
I’m layered, you know? Like an onion?
1 Like
I just put this kind of, I dunno, wall up, and I don’t let people in?
2 Likes
They don’t have Pepsi, is Coca-Cola ok?
4 Likes
Bonjour Fred!
1 Like
“Yes, every time I buy Medjool they are empirically worth the extra cost. You are better than that Deglet Noor bullshit. Stop doing it to yourself.”
6 Likes
What’s the best chatup line you’ve never heard?
The lighting is a bit dim in here no?
So the window ‘slams shut’ today. Count how many times you hear that said. Truth is it simply ‘closes’.
6 Likes
Do you like banter?
Sick innit 
11 Likes
What do you think of the musician Neil Young?
5 Likes
Holy christ I just realized I better not ever leave my lady because I’d be like talking to brick wall on a first date.
3 Likes
“Sorry, I had to take that. There has been an undefined emergency and I have to leave immediately”
2 Likes
“I’ve not seen it, no.”
7 Likes