things people with jobs say

“University of Life, mate”

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People keep saying “direction of travel” idk

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What is drowned in sound, ma0sm?

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Work’s stressful atm

Can I borrow you for a minute?

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Eat my ass

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Never understood that one.

God, I’m not sure if I’m pleased or dismayed that the same shite is spouted in offices the nation / world over.

Anyone else find people saying “leverage” or “utilise” when they mean use?

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I’ll see you at the tribunal!

7 Likes

“Can we take this offline?”.

Roughly translates as ‘If you show me up any further in this meeting I’ll kick your teeth out.’

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Oh it’s payday my family can afford heating for a weekend

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We tried this for about a fortnight until the bosses realised it was just causing massive tension between the US attorneys (qualified to practice via one multiple choice exam) and the European ones (qualified to practice via two sets of nails exams with <50% pass rates) over how to actually do our job. Not niche stuff either, proper basic fundamentals.

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has anyone been saying “craft” where you are? there was a nasty outbreak here a while back where people were “crafting” emails or “crafting” a bit of javascript (the latter makes slightly more sense). I hope it was entirely localised.

  • I say loads of the things in this thread.
  • I say loads of the things in this thread and hate myself for it.
  • I’m a liar.

0 voters

School of hard knocks

EBITDA

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“off to work”

I make a huge point of just using the normal words that already exist, but the bullshit business words are so prevalent that it’s actually way more effort to not use them, so this definitely makes me the biggest prick.

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Hi Honey, I’m home! From the job I have just been at!

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Does anyone else have colleagues who communicate almost entirely in sports metaphors?

I’ve got one clown who’ll use an incessant stream of cricket metaphors while talking to e.g. Germans. No prizes for guessing his nationality.