Things that aren't the boss of you

Various car warning beeps and bongs. Stop being so dramatic, parking sensors, I’ve got about three feet left. Oh the outside temperature has dropped below 4.0 degrees, has it? Give a fuck. Check engine, is it? Fucking make me.

Also my dishwasher beeps when it’s finished but my washing machine doesn’t, which makes no sense.


Bruce Springsteen

Take it to the things that are etc

My ex-manager

Serving sizes

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My cooker has got some sort of sensor in it - gets all bleepy when I’m leaning over to stir things or tuck a tea towel a bit messily into the oven door handle .

Fuck you bleepy - i know what I’m doing, didn’t ask you to stick your oar on

You now


Came here to make this joke kthzbai

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Work laptop reminding me that my password will expire in 9 days.

Talk to me in 9 days, dickhead.


Storage space running out
Some system functions may not work

Oh right, like I’m going to do anything about it.

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All the stuff on the bottom steps


The thing in my car that beeps if it thinks someone is in the passenger seat without a seatbelt on. It is invariably my handbag or laptop. There’s no way to tell it to stfu other than moving the offending item or doing up the seatbelt- OK, maybe it is the boss of me

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