Things that distract the hell out of you when you're watching a film


#1

When someone’s driving and having a conversation at the same time, and they’ll go ages without looking at the road. does my nut in


#2

The smell of hot dogs


#3

Uninterrupted sequences in which the hero goes altogether too long without taking a leak


#4

Tried to rewatch Gone Girl the other day and the product placement was doing my head in


#5

People not wearing seatbelts

Or just getting out of cars and not locking them


#6

Computers that make squiggly widely noises and/or have some weird made up operating system interface on a standard office PC and/or use a made up search engine.


#7

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#8

Characters ‘eating’ by leaving the same tiny morsel on their fork for ages and not doing anything

I get its probably because it’s cold food and they’ve done loads of takes so don’t wanna eat a full roast but it’s really noticeable

Although the family dinner scenes in the sopranos are great and the food always looks tasty - so what? No fuckin’ ziti now! - AJ


#9

saw a film with mel gibson the other day when his daughter gets murdered in front of him as part of a governmnet conspiracy. I don’t think he spends more than about 5 seconds grieving / being in shock / having any emotional impact at all before he is ON THE CASE! - stuff liek that irks me


#10

Characters saying each other’s names in conversations for expository reasons.


#11

Someone’s penis in the popcorn tub.


#12

People putting the phone down without saying goodbye.


#13

people talking/trying to make funny comments about the film

shut up


#14

People that go on and on about things looking fake. On that topic, the great Dean Learner said the following in a Garth Marenghi episode:

“An eagle-eyed viewer might be able to see the wires. A pedant, might be able to see the wires. But I think if you’re looking at the wires you’re ignoring the story. If you go to a puppet show you can see the wires. But it’s about the puppets, it’s not about the string. If you go to a Punch And Judy show and you’re only watching the wires, you’re a freak.”


#15

loud noises / quiet dialogue


#16

do think it kinda sucks that they don’t remix the sound for home cinema. some players have a quiet mode though which helps.


#17

Yes! The Nolan films are especially bad offenders for this. Some of the dynamics are just bizarre.

You have to sit with the remote in your hand constantly hunting for either what sounds like hushed whispered dialogue or bass trying to rattle the wall hangings.


#18

So much this

characters talking

turn volume up so I can hear it

Explosion!

the entire street’s windows get blown out


#19

When characters agree to meet up for a date or whatever “tomorrow night” over the phone - and then just hang up.

Where are you going to meet? And at what time?


#20

When top secret files are in a ‘Black Ops’ folder on the computer like in the new Jason Bourne.