Things that fully irk you


It’s still going.

He’s also waiting for their reaction to be like “ahhh” fake death and one guy didn’t fake death so the guy doing the shooting did an example of fake dying (in silence) and then laughed without a sound.



I didn’t know people like that actually existed outside of tv.


Unfortunately they are all alive and well in my office.



this has done me a bit.


In this situation you should call his bluff.

I recommend screaming ‘Look out! He’s got a gun!’, then immediately rugby tackle him to the ground, take the umbrella and hit him repeatedly over the head with it, while shouting at your colleagues to phone 999.


have you considered the possibility that you’re living in some kind of weird truman show type situation and that everyone you work with is a fictional character designed to test you? it sounds a bit like that might be the case.


report him to HR for imitating an act of violence. that’ll show 'im.


Literally every single day of my life.


The man who sits behind me is playing music from his phone. He’s played 2 Ed Sheeran songs and 1 David Gray song so far. He is also gently singing along to them.

I must leave.




Lettings agent have accused me of not paying my rent in full again.

Honestly, which do they think is more likely: i) that I’ve altered my standing order to underpay by a tenner for just this month, but not the other six months for which my rent has been this amount, or ii) the same IT error has occurred as the last FIVE TIMES they’ve sent me a threatening letter about not paying my rent?

Bunch of useless cunts.


Sounds like exactly the sort of thing someone trying to save a tenner would say to me…


Is this because I’m Scottish? Because that’s a hate crime.


I didn’t know you were Scottish but now I’m surprised it’s only a tenner!




Someone at work has sent me a Powerpoint file and an editible PDF. The images are all shitty low resolution. He wants me to change the colours, insert a new photo and tidy up the text so it looks better. It’s going to look shit no matter what I do because you’ve not supplied me with any actual image files that are good enough to print. What is wrong with people?!


Their mock up is A5 in width but two thirds of A5 in depth. What drugs are these people on? FFS.


Initially read that as “edible PDF”, which had me intrigued…


This happened to me at the weekend!

“Just use this template”

File is a jpeg 1500x2400 or whatever. I’m expected to turf out something at 300dpi

Had to redesign the entire thing, get all the logos from marketing depts/ sponsors etc. FFS.