Things that make you go "urgh"


#1
  • possessive language (mine, yours, belong to me, etc.) used in a romantic context
  • the term “other half”

Valentine’s Day soon, isn’t it.


#2

Mine Birthday Sooner


#3

People gobbing on pavements


#4

Trump’s tweets. I keep going back for more.


#5

Usually don’t care about PDAs at all but there was a couple opposite me on the train this morning that were fucking nauseatingly over the top, rubbing noses, smooching, the works. They were both 30-somethings as well, it made me go “urgh”


#6

Singing Tom Jones songs at karaoke


#7

Singing C+C Music Factory at Karaoke and getting the lyrics wrong.


#8

Mark Kermode


#9

#10

Seeing kids with snotty noses.

Kids with food all around their mouths. Wipe their fucking faces between spoonfuls, you lazy bastard parents.


#11

Pioneers have always met with opposition from small-minded pricks like you.


#12

The word ‘fizz’ to describe carbonated wine


#13

Used jonnys left on the bedroom floor.


#14

eh?


#15

Every love song ever written. Also certain Valentine’s heart sweeties.


#16

When someone asks me what the lead singer of Ultravox’s surname is


#17

You’re mine, japesy. Your gorgeous nose, hairy shoulders, shaven nethers, all belong to me.

You know, in a romantic context.

Get it now?


#18

People inventing stuff their kids said or did for cheap social media numbers.


#19

Smokers outside the hospital doors


#20

My three year old niece was complaining about this at Christmas. She’s very advanced for her age.