Things that mark someone out as a noob

They try to flash you to let you pull out but squirt washing fluid onto their windscreen.

Try to swipe their bank card at the tube turnstiles when they’re standing to close to the gate and it won’t open.

Driving a rental van.

Packing their shopping into bags as they scan it at the self service tills.

Having their windscreen wipers on at an unnecessarily high setting when it’s not even raining that much, or even not noticing that it has stopped raining AND THEY’RE STILL ON

You fucking prick!

4 Likes

it’s the only incontestable one on the list mate. by definition you are a n00b if you’re driving a rental van

1 Like

As opposed to…

never had egg or potato on a pizza

2 Likes

23 Likes

Try to do a proper throw-in at 5 a side

5 Likes

Cycling to work.

Wearing a rucksack.

Ordering two-thirds of a pint of beer.

4 Likes

Keeper who gets their centre back to take goal kicks

16 Likes

Buying duty free on a plane

6 Likes

not scanning bakery products/vegetables as the cheapest item on either section at the self service

1 Like

Daisy chain headband at a festival

8 Likes

Wearing a band’s own tshirt to their gig

21 Likes

why are these noob traits?

queuing to board a plane

14 Likes

excellent shout

Ordering a “pint of beer”

1 Like

Turning their phone off in, rather than before going into, a film screening

2 Likes

Their username being a lighter colour

1 Like

ha, what a noob