Things that sound like they might be sexual but aren't really


#1

Waking up to find that theo has liked you in your sleep.


#2

I semi-frequently travel to the Netherlands for oral proceedings.


#3

Do you ever say ‘let’s get to the proceedings preceding this evening’?


#4

No.


#5

Shame.


#6

Not much of that, they’re very progressive over there.


#7

‘Double entendre’.


#8

Someone was off last week because they were ‘having a carpet fitted’

Which sounds like a euphamism but definitely isn’t, is it?


#9

dirty pillows


#10

filthy tomato


#11

The lovley eggs


#12

Being penalised


#13

“Sunny side up”


#14

Getting “blown off”.

Getting “sucked off”.

“Turtle neck”.


#15

Seminal works


#16

Spelunking


#17

fracking
making headway


#18

Having a filling


#19

Sexing a hamster


#20