Things that take incredible restraint

Unshelling a bowl of pistachios BEFORE eating any.

Go.

3 Likes

Not masturbating once while working from home

18 Likes

Not correcting someone who’s pointing at a Stormtrooper statue and saying to their child “look, it’s a robot!”

seeing a pile of smoked salmon and not grabbing a handful of it and shoving it into your mouth.

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Not pointing out that someone’s smeared food on their face.

Not finishing a ‘share sized’ packet of crisps on your own.

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When their using there they’re’s wrong.

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Why would you do that

Not picking off a scab.

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went to buy some jeans the other day and the shop attendant was quite snooty and rude, but she had a load of cream on her top lip. didn’t say anything.

small victories like this keep me going.

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subsidised vending machines

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You showed incredible restraint and were rewarded for it.

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sometimes someone will say something really stupid and/or factually incorrect, and I’ll just let it slide and agree with them if I dislike them enough.

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(pistachios look weird, don’t they)

To answer your question, so I can eat them at my preferred pace. Want to go slow and eat an individual pistachio each time? Sure! Want to stuff them all in for a regrettable experience? Also fine!

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think that’s why people just open then and put them straight in their mouth without looking at the pinky green horror.

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Erm, what about when you strain your pasta but then someone else comes along and puts it back in some water and then you say “I can’t believe you did that!” and then you strain it a second time. That’s kind of like “Incredulousible *Re-strainedt

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Not doing a big rugby conversion kick when you see a big white mushroom growing in a field

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Not shouting ‘Twat!’ at the television when a contestant on Pointless goes ‘Yay!’ because they have won a Pointless Trophy and are pretending that’s really all they actually came for.

like to imagine you doing the pre kick ritual thing they do, like hunched up with your hands in front of you type thing.

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Maybe we should rebrand Pistachios as vegan clams.

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