Things that take longer than you expect

Not sure why its that tiny, cba to fix it


Liverpool to win the league. 30 years so far.

Rice cooks more quickly when I’m off my tits? I’m not sure how this works scientifically.

(Do you think anyone actually thinks I have a massive drug habit?)

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Every single recipe in here. Aka The Big Book of Lies:


A slightly cut testicle stopping bleeding

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Waiting to get a council flat.


Takes too long

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Literally everything I ever do

Long motorway journeys. Sat nav says it’ll take 2 hours? See you in 4. Added extra time to your plan to account for that? Have a bonus hour long traffic jam.


I find this with journeys where I have to go to some random Norfolk market town. always seems to be some resurfacing work going on whenever I’m due to arrive in Diss at 1 p.m.

:rotating_light: bourgeois answer alert :rotating_light:

Any and all Ottolenghi recipes.

Recipe: “You’ll need 2 hours for this including prep…”
Me: “Dinner will be ready next Thursday.”


Cleaning an oven.

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Getting to places.


Funding lots of drugs.

I like it when you’re reading through the ingredients and there’s something like "one quantity crispy fried onions (p. 354). You turn to page 354 and see that it’s gonna take at least another 20 minutes to make them

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It also doesn’t take into account the time spent in the supermarket wandering around trying and failing to find the ingredients before googling “can I substitute Chinese sky-cabbage-essence for Malaysian pickled-corn-souls?”

Back when I was still on meatbook I had some friends over ago and made both the beef croquettes and some beef fillet with gochujang thing from the NOPI book. Genuinely took me about 20 hours spread over 3 days to prepare.

It was incredible, obviously, but fuck ever doing that again.

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