Much as I like a bit of generic, derivative fantasy from time to time, if a book starts off with “I, Quaalude of the Fnaangarians, first in line for the throne of Mesoporussiapan, skilled in the art of Teriyaaaaki, unsheathed my mystical Hspôrkk and headed towards the vast uplands of Zsluuw with my traveling companion Da’rren, one of the last surviving Aeinsels,” then ahm oot. That’s not world building, it’s nerd word salad.
Never made it past the prologue of a Brandon Sanderson book for this reason.
pages covered in dog shit
the book is on fire and my hands hurt
it’s not actually a book, it’s one of them fake books with all the pages cut out and a bottle of whiskey hidden in the middle
VHS storage made to look like a book
If the book has constantly let me down for several years and shows no interest in my emotional wellbeing
imagine if it contained all of those things. That would be a good fake book
Better than any real book
things that will make you give up on a fake book: no revolver
If it’s incredibly long and boring and wilfully smug and arch and complicated (basing this on the fact the only book I remember giving up on in recent times is Infinite Jest).
Someone telling me about another book that sounds more interesting.
If the title is “Gravity’s Rainbow”
if @xylo refuses to sell it to me