Things to blow your mind/make you think


Inspired by Kinders, here:


Everything is ‘limited edition’


You can’t normally feel your tongue in your mouth, but you can after reading this.


every dog that was on earth when I was born is now dead


And it’s all your fault




When you start thinking about the act of breathing, and how you don’t think about it, and then when you do think about it, you can’t do it naturally again.


Your body is just a poo gun and eating is reloading it.


The human body contains enough bones to assemble an entire skeleton.


not quite

@Balonz is actually co created by a team of 10 scriptwriters, Every post is thoroughly work shopped before it goes live on


and now you can retire in peace


Speak for yourself, Kinders. I have a database of several million possible replies saved, catering for every possible situation. I haven’t improvised a post since 2007.

Written July 6th 2013


There are approximately as many atoms in a grain of sand as there are grains of sand on all the beaches on Earth.


Bumblebees and aeroplanes being able to fly (unless you fully understand the physics of it all)


Might not be improvised, we might think we’re improvising but we’re not. A computer programme typing pre programmed things into a computer. Mental


The only qualified mechanic in Mike and the Mechanics was actually Mike.


When we were yoot we discovered that conversation was just questions and statements (sort of, you have exclamation and stuff) so every time someone said something we would either shout ‘question’ or ‘statement’.

What great fun!


Like a street version of 15-1?




I used to say this to my old colleague who would buy “limited edition” apples from M&S.