Things we’re told are real but they aren’t, not really

Nfts obvs

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Dragons

I was thinking about badgers just the other day.

I did work experience at my local paper many moons ago and one of the “jobs” I was given was to try and sleuth out some badger people on Twitter. It was around the time yer man from Queen with the big hair was in the news being all “leave badgers alone” but there was backlash in my town cause it’s full of farmers and tories and tory farmers so the general consensus was “no, we want to hurt the badgers actually” so they tasked hungover 17 year old me with sniffing around on social media to find out if the pro badger people were planning a pro badger event so they could… idk, take pictures or something. So I spent my day lurking about online half heartedly cause I’m actually pro badger but was too shy to admit it.

And I was thinking about this because the ex sports editor at said paper still DMs me sometimes, and DMd me recently to say butterfly by crazy town is one of his favourite songs. And then I thought about badgers.

I have met one and got hissed at which was terrifying but then I’ve also had sleep paralysis demons shout at me and they aren’t real so… badgers are like magnets imo. No one can be completely sure.

This is boring isn’t it. Sorry

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Cinematic universes.

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Electrical meat

They’re real, and filled to the gills with satanic ritualists.

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wish wellingtons

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Yes!! That’s a thing!!

There’s loads of train stations that never really have trains stop there, but they just exist because they’re on the way to somewhere else and it’s a bit pointless to knock them down, but no one ever really gets on or off!

Look!!

Nothing gets past you and I love it

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1 Like

I walk past a Freemason lodge multiple times a week and they seem weird. Blows my mind a bit that it’s still a thing

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I think like most things it’s just a lot of plumbers and carpenters who are secretly a bit racist.

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cholestrol

in my opinion pigeons are birds

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Shamdemics

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Oh here comes Bamnan with his absurd takes

(MASSIVE SAFETY WINK BECAUSE I DON’T MEAN IT SERIOUSLY)

Also Spoiler tags. Don’t exist.

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Black IPAs

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‘Gravity’. They’re all like oh yeah there’s this force that moves stuff downwards and blah blah blah, yeah a ‘force’ is it? You think we’re in fucking Star Wars. Get real, I wasn’t born yesterday. Of course stuff falls to the ground, it’s the ground, that’s what it’s for. Boffins trying to keep themselves in a job by making up shit about things that just happen, it’s common sense.

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absurd?

I’m the surdest man here!

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Time zones. Absolutely not real.

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The 100 people who are “given 100 seconds to name as many insert item s as they can” for Pointless. Not having it.

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