Food that is too hot.
Ulcers.
Your teeth sometimes by accident.
A kiss by a rose
Funny how shoes have tongues, but the hole you put your foot into isn’t called the mouth of the shoe
Long cunnilingus session
Always wondered if you could reach a point where the underneath bit would actually rupture and start bleeding. That would not be good for the mood.
Licking a frozen bridge
Chewing on the plastic stick of a chupa chups lolly until it splinters and cuts your tongue a bit.
This just happened and inspired this thread.
chewing a cocktail stick and doing that trick where you spin it round in your mouth and accidentally impaling your tongue on the cocktail stick
(i think this might happen in the film Uncle Buck)
Improve your technique and it doesn’t take as long.
I’m no expert but it’s not a race
Eating an entire pack of these in one sitting because they are so vinegary and good you can’t stop.
Molten pasty
Sherbet lemons.
Sharp food (broken crisps, splintered hard sweets, that sort of stuff)
One of those hard baguettes that hurt the roof of your trap
Pear drops
ftfy
Fffffffffffuuiuuuck mate.
Got an ulcer on my tongue RIGHT NOW. Get them when I’m stressed, so painful. Earlier there was part of my brain that was like ‘Just bite it off mate, bite it right off,’ and I was well tempted