Things you can’t be arsed with post-lockdown

Say you go into a restaurant or other kind of eatery and you ask them the recipe for a sauce or summat and they say “oh it’s a secret” or “oh if I told you I’d have to kill you”.
Fuck off with that going forward. Tell me the fucking recipe, cunt.

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Other people probably

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Living anything other than a cloistered online existence with occasional visits to parks.

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clapping at 8pm on a thursday

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Everything entirely going back to normal after the relentless ‘this will change everything’ conversations.

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The first day pubs are open

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Thinking I can’t be arsed with being shy about stuff like asking people out, but surely I’ll be back to being terrified of everything when the opportunity arises once more

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Supermarkets without strict limits on the number of people inside.

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Yeah the second day is gonna be sweet though

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Totally this, reckon I’m going to self-isolate for maybe another month to let all the utter belms get things out of their system before I go and enjoy a quiet pint somewhere.

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Any of the companies who’ve proven themselves to be total arseholes during this.

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graphs

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Yeah, really hope people put their money where their mouth is when it comes to fucking off Philip Green and that Wetherspoons bellend

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getting dressed.

If I can put the bins out in my dressing gown there’s no need for me to ever wear clothes again

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God forbid people celebrate the end of what will have been a horrific few months

Going to work, physically.

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Not really the point I was making, but as you were.

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Must have been the use of the phrase ‘utter belms’ that caused me to misunderstand your post

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True - I love going for a stroll on Christmas Day because everyone smiles and wishes you Happy Christmas. There’s been a bit of that spirit of late in general, long may it continue.

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Living in a shared house (moved in with the TV and their housemates).

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