Things You Do That You Didn't Realise Were Weird Till Something Happened



I change the wrist that I keep my watch on periodically (pretty much daily) to try and keep the suntan line equal on both arms. My wife pointed out that if I kept it on one wrist, then no-one would see the white bit as it’d always have a watch on.

I thought about this, and it’s a good point, but then I remembered the Benedict Cumberbatch series Sherlock and how he uses things like this to learn about people and that if I had a mixed tanline that cunt wouldn’t have a clue what it’s about.


Don’t know what this thread is really, just wanted to mention the watch thing.


the actor richard e grant was born in swaziland, and he wears a watch on each wrist - one always set to the time in his birthplace, and the second set to the current time in whatever part of the world he happens to be in…

(this isn’t really useful or relevant, just thought you’d be interested to know)


You’ve definitely got one up on fictional Sherlock Holmes if ever you should meet totally worth it.


I am right-handed and wear my watch on my right wrist. All the best with your thread.


Alan Partridge

What I want to ask you is, and this a question I’ve been dying to ask you, if you were stuck in a lift, what, what one book would you have with you?

Lawrence Camley

Well, I would actually choose for sheer bloody-minded entertainment value, I would be stuck in a lift with “The Hound Of The Baskervilles”.


I don’t believe it, Sherlock Holmes. Now you’re making sense. I am his Number One fan. I’ve read all his books.


Yes, I’ve read them.


I’ve read all of them. Have you read all of them?


Probably not all of them.


I’ve read all of them. Read all of them. I love Sherlock Holmes. I’ve got all his books, leather-bound. What I thought was great about Sherlock Holmes was that not only was he, er, a supersleuth, he was also a hard worker. 'Cause, not only did he go out and solve the crimes, he came home and wrote it all down. Fantastic. That, that’s why I admire him.


Yes. I’ve always thought it was a shame that Conan Doyle had to kill him off.


No, I think you’ll find it was Moriarty that killed him.


Yes, I know, but ultimately of course it was Conan Doyle.


No, it was Moriary, it was definitely…


Yes, I know, in the books it was Moriarty, but of course the ultimate responsibility was Conan Doyle’s.


Yep, hang on. As far as I know, Moriarty acted alone. Or did he? This is interesting. You, you think that there was some sort of conspiracy involving this shadowy Doyle figure? All right, OK, fair enough. Who solved all the cases?


Sherlock Holmes.




Yes, but, the cases were fictional too, it’s all make-believe.


All right. Who lived on Baker Street?


I don’t know.






Did the, did the Doyle live there?


The Doyle, the Dail is the Irish Parliament.


The Irish Parliament! This conspiracy’s getting bigger. You can’t trust anyone these days. You’ve got the Doyle, Moriarty, the Irish Parliament, it’s… On that bombshell, I think we’ll move on.


No, no, no. I’m sorry Alan, I, I, I’d like to let this go, but, hah, I really can’t. Sherlock Holmes did not exist.


He did.


Look. If he had existed, how would he have be able to describe in intimate detail the circumstances of his own death?


Um. The Nobel Prize for Literature. You never won it. What went wrong?


doesn’t Dr Watson narrate the SH stories? I’ve never read one but I thought he did


Just as in the BBC series, it is Martin Freeman playing Watson who writes the blog which makes Holmes famous.


I thought it was his “case files” on studying the mentally ill delusional manic Mr Holmes?


yeah - just makes the Partridge thing above not really work, unless Alan is claiming to have read them and hasn’t really


I don’t see the point in watches


Mate of mine has a vape which has a clock on the display which he now uses as his main source of time-keeping.


Because time is just an abstract concept, dude…


What, even that watch without hands?


A colleague, the one who talks too much and too loudly, has one of those watches that you can pay for stuff with, like a contactless card, but it’s in his watch. For some reason this annoys me.


Don’t understand why things like that and those mobile apps for paying exist. We have contactless cards now! Surely the most convenient way to pay for stuff


Gullible people need stuff to spend their money on and keep the capitalist system ticking over.


I’m off to Camp Bestival this weekend - this from their info page:


Camp Bestival is operating a optional Cashless payment system at the festival this year. On your wristband will be a cashless chip, which can be topped up and then spent at all bars – meaning you don’t need to carry cash or your wallet with you! You can top-up at the following points:

  • Main stage Bar
  • Big Top Bar
  • Caravanserai
  • Lower Kids Garden Bar
  • Castle Bar (VIP Bar)
  • Horsebox Pub (Backstage/Hospitality Camping) Please note pre-registration is not available as it requires the unique code from the wristband which you’ll be given at the gates.

You can cash-out at any point throughout the festival to remove any funds on your wristband. This is available at the following points:

  • Main Stage Bar
  • Big Top Bar
  • Castle Bar (VIP Bar)
  • Horsebox Pub (Backstage/Hospitality Camping)

Cashless payments are accepted at all bars. . Please Note: Cash-out is only available during normal bar opening times and until 12:00 on Monday 30th July. No cash-out will be available at the festival after this. Online Cash-Out: You can cash-out online after the festival for up to 7 days. To do so, please register here. Please do not discard your wristband until you have received the funds into your bank account . Online cash-out will be available from 31/07/18 until 05/08/18. No online cash-out will be available after this.

Hmm. Oh, wait:

This system is entirely optional – cash and card payments are still accepted at all bars as well

In that case, FO, M…


Is this one of those systems they hope that lots of people don’t bother to cash out and they have a nice amount of free money when everyone’s gone home?


Oooh, I hadn’t thought of that Peej. Do you reckon they might charge deposit on cups also?