Things you feel a bit bad about

Saw banana man again the other day (bloke that gives bananas to kids/my kid in waitrose)

and he offered a banana but I declined and he looked crestfallen. Felt a bit bad, just couldn’t be fucked.

Anything? lets keep it light, not full fidel

loads of stuff. but nothing amusing.

I’m just a horrible person.

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oh, for ffs Dave…just…keep it…li…made anyone fall over accidentally or something?..just…




There’s a really troubled guy who walks around near my house ranting about things like Pythagoras’ theorem and pi to however many digits is the same number as the US something or other and that’s the same as pi because Pythagoras’ theorem and that’s pi, right, which is why the US is…

I feel bad because he’s clearly in a bad way and I don’t know if he’s getting any help, but also because he must be so sure that he’s right about all of this and why can’t anyone else see it! Must be really frustrating.

Also I can currently hear a dog whining to be let inside.

I feel a bit bad about the guy in our office that we pretty much blank (although he blanks us back). Can’t be fun sitting in an office for 8 hours a day not speaking whilst everyone around you is chatting rubbish.


Ha. Do you go out of your way to touch your female colleagues borderline innapropriately or bump into their chairs as you walk past? Do you also support Donald Trump and Brexit?

I’m not going over this again. Speak to HR.


Bastard. You can have your book entitled ‘women who can’t love and what’s wrong with them’ back.

I’m thinking back on it now and I don’t think I’ve ever touched a single colleague here.

Women not worthy of a handshake eh?

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Not wearing some pairs of pants as much as others. I’m sorry, stripy-blue, you’re just too tight.

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Oh there’s a point. Okay, I don’t think I’ve touched any of my colleagues since the interviews.

Yeah there’s a young guy on my team who’s really quiet even when the rest of us are sitting around chatting shite. Feel a bit bad for him as someone who can be a bit quieter as well (but not to that extent), make an effort with him occasionally, always feel I should do it more often but can’t really be bothered?

Guess it depends on how much he gives back when you do try. If you’re not getting much back it might be that he’s just naturally quiet and doesn’t need to join in.

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Hoovered up a big spider on the wall, I’m not having him jumping out at me late at night and growling or whatever. My daughter watched me and said, with big cow eyes, “is it still alive?”

Oh yeah, definitely, I’ll just let him outside into the bin, he can wander off where he likes from there.

Felt a bit bad. Fuck them big hairy spiders though.