Things you feel a bit bad about

I’m always trading on Snails in my garden by accident

Always feel pretty bad when I hear the crunch noise


It’s been sluggish recently


my mum showed me a stupid video on her iPad a while ago that I didn’t really find funny, and failed to feign any sort of amusement at.

Have felt bad about it ever since.


The crunch of a snail underfoot is like nails on a chalkboard. One of the very worst sounds.

I’m sure the snail is fucking delighted about it.

I care not for the puny mollusc, just the aural discomfort to myself.

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WHAT are you currently working on?
I am currently working on a charity concert to raise awareness for molluscs. It’s on 1 February at the Lyric in the West End of London. At my studio, Poggle Studios, deep in the Virginia Water countryside, hundreds of snails have perished under the feet of many a musician who have stepped outside for a cigarette or whatever at night and crunch. We’ve all been there. The heavier ones with bigger feet – like Adele or Elton John – can wipe out five or six of the guys in one step. It’s snail genocide and many people think snails can grow their shells back, well they can’t. They turn into slugs and die.

So many things :frowning:

  • I didn’t get a birthday card to my dad in time
  • There are shitloads of outstanding tasks at work and I’ve not been able to resolve them yet
  • Yet I’ve still dicked around on here
  • I fucked up the completion of the i puzzle page on the killer sudoku
  • There’s loads I haven’t done on the house that I was supposed to

There was a bloke in our local WH Smith’s who had published a book about hill walking or something like that and was signing inside. The poster in the window featured a photo of him with a big, chuckling smile on his face. He looked like a really nice chap.

He was sat behind a little table with his pen in hand and books all around him.

But he looked really fed up. It looked as though nobody had spoken to him all day.

I felt very sorry for him.

But not sorry enough to buy a copy of his book.

Which made me feel bad.

A guy I used to work with self published his own book

When he left he gave a copy to everyone in the team.

I feel bad that I’ve never even opened it. It doesn’t look good

Walked out of a job once. Just got to the end of the day, was asked to stay on for an hour or so (bit busy), said no, handed my keys in and didn’t ever go back or make further contact with anyone. Felt a bit bad for the one decent bloke there that night.

Business Secrets of the Pharoahs?

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It was a novel - I think very much influenced by the Dirk Gently series, whilst also embracing his vocal interest in atheism


Oh, when I did some work with Domino Records I once went into the office and as I was leaving, got taken into the store and absolutely loaded up with goodies including things that were meant for competition prizes. Yer man from Four Tet was there too and gave me some more. Then someone from Psapp came in and handed me a sampler. Now what I meant to say was something like “oh this is an awful lot” feeling guilty for basically being an awful freeloader. Didn’t quite come out like that…

Never played it through guilt.

Never got invited back either strangely.

walked past a pub recently and there was no one in there apart from 4 old men playing music. may have just been practicing but the pub was open and it made me feel sad that these old boys were playing to no one

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Quite recently I was at a table in a fairly quiet corner in a pub with what I thought was an unused stage. A jazz duo (double bass and drums) came onstage after about 15 minutes and started playing some perfectly inoffensive music. We were the only people in the vicinity, so it was really obvious when we got up and moved because we couldn’t hear each other talk. Didn’t have the heart to look back at them as we left.