Things you haven't used since you were in school

Pencil case


Sarcasm as a defence mechanism, obviously


Kickers with the tag on

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My friend once went to a trainee hairdresser and they used those scissors on her hair :astonished:

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Parental signature forgery skills

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With this shirt and a pair of black hugo boss jeans for when i went into town and wanted to get in boozers when i was a kid.

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Farrah trousers.

A rugby shirt.

This was also a South Essex thing, so we can maybe generalise it to the South at least?

Not my scene though personally, was always a beat up sports messenger bag with badges on it type.


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My potential


house captain.

an Acorn Archimedes
one of those tools that cuts shapes out of plastic
a squash racket*
a trampoline*

* in year 10/11 we had, basically, free rein on the local leisure centre every Wednesday afternoon, so we got to try our hand at various different sports. I think it was a token effort at social mobility or something.

My brain

The phrase ‘um, don’t know sir/miss’, whilst staring at the ground