Things you like saying wrong


big fan of saying i borrowed somebody something or asking if they can borrow me something

what about you?

oh text, obviously


practically all of it


Always wind up the TV by calling it Mataland.

Bonus: it winds up her mum too.


I pronounce it “fah-jiy-tahs” so often at home that it’s only a matter of time before I blurt it out in public.


eurgh - like how I always used to deliberately say “kest la vee” instead of c’est la vie (because I am hilarious) and then this girl corrected me and I felt like such a cunt.

cringing now just thinking about it.

don’t say stuff wrong on purpose kids because sooner or later you’ll just look like an idiot.

that certainly learned me a lesson.


Apparently I say place names wrong. Like I pronounce Bournemouth: ‘Bourne-mouth’ and not ‘Burnmuth’ and I say shire and not share. Not sorry.






My mum has called it Matt Alan for as long as I can remember.


We call avocados, ava-ca-doo. Regularly forget myself when ordering stuff like “can I have the ava-ca-doo on toast please?” and they’re like what


bet you itch an itch


Possibly a reference to how it was named?


WTF is it named after a man called Matt Alan?


I think the guy who started it has two sons called Matt and Alan


no way


I like to call americanos ah-muh-RICK-uh-no. Feels good, nicer rhythm to it


Housemate and I correctly pronounce the d at the end of DEMOND.


Housemate calls them advocados, deliberately.


Ah shit, he debunked it. What I always thought though

"There’s no meaning to the name Matalan whatsoever,” he says, quipping that if he had a pound for everyone who’d asked him what it stood for, he’d be a very rich man indeed. “I’ve been told that it’s my two sons Matt and Alan, but it’s definitely not.”