Things you like to say after you finish a phone call

arsehattery

#1

I’m a big fan of turning to a colleague and saying something like “blimey, she didn’t have a good word to say about you” or “he just called you all the bastards under the sun”.

It’s this kind of thing that means I’m recognised as a person who’s fun to be around.


#2

“Wrong number.” after a lengthy call.


#3

That’s a corker!


#4

“Who the hell was that guy?” – again, after a long one.


#5

“Bellend”


#6

If I’m really dismissive with a cold caller and my wife asks who it was I always say “your mum”.


#7

“for fuck’s sake…”


#8

Nothing.

But you guys are giving me bare ideas here.


#9

Keep your nudity to yourself please, Theo.


#10

It’s okay, they can’t see on the phone.


#11

‘straight to voicemail’ - after a long outgoing call


#12

like to do the ol’ gun to the head gesture while talking on the phone.


#13

Doesn’t work if you’re volunteering for the samaritans, trust me


#14


#15

Not on the phone.


#16

Looks like a headset to me:


#17

Does it? Looks like some bullshit to me.


#18

I grant you that spending your whole turn to gain 8 credits isn’t amazing, but it’s great for recovering from Closed Accounts.


#19


#20

Next year will be the 30th anniversary of me doing this joke, been doing it since I first saw it in “Mr Jolly Lives Next Door” and I will NEVER stop.