Things you like to say after you finish a phone call



I’m a big fan of turning to a colleague and saying something like “blimey, she didn’t have a good word to say about you” or “he just called you all the bastards under the sun”.

It’s this kind of thing that means I’m recognised as a person who’s fun to be around.


“Wrong number.” after a lengthy call.


That’s a corker!


“Who the hell was that guy?” – again, after a long one.




If I’m really dismissive with a cold caller and my wife asks who it was I always say “your mum”.


“for fuck’s sake…”



But you guys are giving me bare ideas here.


Keep your nudity to yourself please, Theo.


It’s okay, they can’t see on the phone.


‘straight to voicemail’ - after a long outgoing call


like to do the ol’ gun to the head gesture while talking on the phone.


Doesn’t work if you’re volunteering for the samaritans, trust me



Not on the phone.


Looks like a headset to me:


Does it? Looks like some bullshit to me.


I grant you that spending your whole turn to gain 8 credits isn’t amazing, but it’s great for recovering from Closed Accounts.



Next year will be the 30th anniversary of me doing this joke, been doing it since I first saw it in “Mr Jolly Lives Next Door” and I will NEVER stop.