#1

I’m a big fan of turning to a colleague and saying something like “blimey, she didn’t have a good word to say about you” or “he just called you all the bastards under the sun”.

It’s this kind of thing that means I’m recognised as a person who’s fun to be around.

5 Likes
#2

“Wrong number.” after a lengthy call.

11 Likes
#3

That’s a corker!

#4

“Who the hell was that guy?” – again, after a long one.

5 Likes
#5

“Bellend”

5 Likes
#6

If I’m really dismissive with a cold caller and my wife asks who it was I always say “your mum”.

#7

“for fuck’s sake…”

#8

Nothing.

But you guys are giving me bare ideas here.

#9

Keep your nudity to yourself please, Theo.

2 Likes
#10

It’s okay, they can’t see on the phone.

#11

‘straight to voicemail’ - after a long outgoing call

2 Likes
#12

like to do the ol’ gun to the head gesture while talking on the phone.

2 Likes
#13

Doesn’t work if you’re volunteering for the samaritans, trust me

3 Likes
#14

6 Likes
#15

Not on the phone.

#16

Looks like a headset to me:

1 Like
#17

Does it? Looks like some bullshit to me.

3 Likes
#18

I grant you that spending your whole turn to gain 8 credits isn’t amazing, but it’s great for recovering from Closed Accounts.

#19

1 Like
#20

Next year will be the 30th anniversary of me doing this joke, been doing it since I first saw it in “Mr Jolly Lives Next Door” and I will NEVER stop.

2 Likes