Things you once had to do

Had to go to a Masonic lunch once.

I didn’t see any of that, but maybe they save those for when the women aren’t around.

(It was a “ladies lunch”)

(The lady in question was my ex)

(Her dad is a Mason)

Love those triangle-cut sandwiches


I once had to break the door open of the flat under ours because the owner had put a frying pan on to make some chapatis and then promptly fallen asleep in the other room & the frying pan set on fire.
I put out the fire and opened all the windows

No one was hurt

I got involved once with a charity which loaded up vans with donations to go off to Belarus or somewhere. I seemed to be a go-to and being 17-18 I just went along with it, family were involved too. Once had to load the van up, then they found it was too heavy, so had to go back and unload. Then once they rang the day I came back from Reading festival and asked me to go. I said yes, but then flaked out at the last minute. They didn’t call me agaib.

I would like to have a ma0smic lunch with you

I’m frightened to ask what the secret handshake for that involves.

Let’s just say there are no hands involved

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I have had to do this multiple times.

Herman Melville’s first draft needed a little tweaking.

Was this an episode of Beadle’s About?