Things you suddenly realise need doing...?

Like haircuts, the garden, toenails, etc.

Doesn’t seem to be any sort of consistency. Tuesday - fine. Wednesday - fine. Thursday - WOAH, i can hardly see past these things, ffs.

Right, and when you’re stealing this joke for your fucking Fringe show please credit me, unlike you know who and that fucking time.

Fingernails is a big one. Good call

One bottle of 10% cider.

Incredible.

Leathered.

My fingernails always get really long and dirty when I’m on holiday. What’s that all about? Eh?