Things you used to believe when you were a kid


That Cornwall was a different country
That secretaries were primarily employed to keep secrets
Stoppage time in football was 'Scottish time’
Germany was still ruled by the Nazi party and Russia were still the Soviet Union
That when I was playing against the computer in a video game, I was actually playing against some employee of the game company whose job it was to play video games against people
That fat Ronaldo was the greatest player ever and no-one would even come close to being better than him
That everyone in London still wore Victorian garb


That the head of the railways on Thomas the Tank Engine was called the Fuckin’ Troller


my spanish grandad used to pronounce the fat controller like this, much to the amusement of my parents.


That I would be a professional footballer. Remember my mum telling me at like the age of 7 that I was nowhere near good enough and that I’d maybe be good enough to play in division 3 at best and that the pay was crap at that level. She also wouldn’t let me join the local football team because I’d be hanging out with the ‘common’ kids.

Should probably take this to the ‘parents dashing your dreams’ thread, huh?


That being smart and working hard were the keys to happiness and success.


I used to think a throw-in was called a throwing. I remember playing a football computer game and the graphics coming on screen saying “THROW IN” and saying that they got it wrong and my parents laughing at me.

28 years old, I was.


My mum still pretends she can’t pronounce certain things correctly. She still says “we’re going to the bitch” and calls the tops of babies’ bottles “tits”. She’s lived here for 26 years.


yeah, my dad is the same despite having lived in the UK since the mid 80s. other great mispronunciations:

mobile - movile
shed - shit
leicester - leycester


Used to presume that adult life would be good, took it for granted until my teens at least that Christian religion was probably true, also was pretty confident King Arthur and all the rest of it was factual/historically accurate. A pretty gullible kid all in all.


That the world used to be in black and white in the olden days.


That my Dad had invented the term toe-rag. Dream shattered when Harold off Neighbours used it.

That my toys would come alive at night like in the films if I wished enough.


if your hand was bigger than your face you would get cancer.


Thought annie lennox and david bowie were the same person


that the world was legit black and white before colour


The tv channels were all asleep at night too. Nighttime tv was an actual alien concept


Oh yeah I thought my dad made up the name eggy bread for French toast, the name was so daft I was genuinely shocked when I realised it was an actual thing outside of my family


Pedestrians were a Christian protestant denomination


That grand parents had to live overseas (isle of wight/India respectively)
Didn’t believe sex education at school as I saw a soap opera where someone got accidentally pregnant and didn’t think that could happen accidentally


That if I slept with my arms in between two layers of blankets then robbers wouldnt be able to find them and tie me up :joy:

That getting pregnant was something that just happened once you got married. Very confused when two un-married character had a baby on neighbours.


When I a kid I had a cat called Daisy, my Dad once told me that Days get longer in the summer whilst he was stroking Daisy, I misheard this as Daisy Gets Longer In The Summer and I spent the next 2 years convinced that cats got longer during the summer.