Things you were told never to do

and haven’t done. Like a sheep. Baaaaaa.

I’ve never done a sheep

2 Likes

Drugs. Well, the majority of them.

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And I’ve never skipped a level crossing.

use the toilet after my mum had cleaned it with domestos

In primary one I dropped my pencil and it rolled to underneath where a girl was standing. I crawled over to pick it up.

I was immediately hauled to my feet and screamed at to never, EVER do that again, EVER!

Took me years to realise the teacher thought I was looking to the girl’s skirt.

Touched an exhaust pipe

NEVER EVER DROP A PENCIL AGAIN YOU PRICK!!!

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Who told you? Your dad?

“son, promise me you’ll never slip your length into a sheep”

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*looking up. Christ.

And hence the name pencil dick stuck for life.

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were you there???

Stick my fingers in a plug socket.
Run with scissors.

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Real potential for a My Cousin Vinny-style mistaken confession in the head teacher’s office in this scenario.

see also, don’t touch anything elctrical with wet hands