Things you will definitely never do

Wear a beret
Drive a tank
Go snowboarding

What things will you definitely never do?

Light a previously-used match by striking it against a damp jam doughnut


You haven’t lived!

I keep trying, it just never lights!

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You say this but I once saw a paintball place that had tanks you could ride around in and if anyone is ever stupid enough to make me their best man then we’re damn well going there for the stag.


definitely worn a beret
definitely been snowboarding.
I HAVEN’T driven a tank, but I have piloted a hovercraft and driven a military-style ATV. Not quite the same though :frowning:

Went paintballing once for my friend’s birthday. As a glasses wearer it was not a fun experience, and I fell down a muddy bank about 4 times then had to DJ at his party covered in bruises.

What things will you definitely never do warno?

Vote Tory


Fuck a dolphin


Second funniest thing I’ve ever seen was a mild mannered chemistry nerd going full Rambo about 15 seconds in to a paintball session, sprinting towards a bunker, vaulting the barricade on the near side, and landing on the paint grenade in his back pocket, which went off and eliminated him from the round.


Bad luck.

Can’t imagine killing someone tbh.

Was gonna put that but what if they were going to kill you Gnomesy, WHAT IF!

Actually tbf, I can imagine killing someone if they threatened someone I cared about. Especially my little sister/Avery. I have a firece protectiveness over them. Scared myself a bit in the past jumping on someone who was attacking Avery.

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Keeping this post in case the police ever ask me about it.

lot of confident people in this thread

I have worn a red beret.

I was having a conversation about killing the other day and it’s really hard to discuss killing without sounding like a dangerous person

I’ll be honest with you japes, it’s not panning out the way I thought, but that’s ok.