Things you would like people to drop

was it her fault?

same shit, different quarter

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There’s a guy in the catering appliances yard opposite who is very blasé when loading trucks with the forklift. Lots of very tight turns and no look reversing. Would quite like him to misjudge it and fling a fridge or two across their carpark.

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When I was at college we could claim money back for bus fares which I’d do and then pass the money back to my Mum. However one term I neglected to do so - missing out on about fifty quid - and now hear about it once every six months despite offers to pay the money now at an equivalent rate.

Twenty-five years ago this was.

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I do all of my shitting indoors.

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The TV loves reminding me of the time I stayed over at his not long after we’d started seeing each other and I did a fart that woke us both up. I’d been trying not to fall asleep as I knew it was coming and I was still at that stage where I didn’t want him to know I had normal bodily functions.

Jokes on him though cos he ended up marrying me and I fart loads

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image

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My wife never lets me forget getting so drunk on our first holiday as a couple that i shit the bed.

You’re the one who ended up marrying me so i think it’s clear who the sucker is here. Stop mentioning it.

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I’d like people to stop lampooning my fear of elaborate egg-based dishes.

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my mum loves to bring up the time I pretended to be a farmer and signed up for a free subscription of something like ‘pig farmers monthly’ magazine and we kept getting them posted to our address for about a year

drop it mum

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a sick beat

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When I was a teenager I liked to climb things. At one or two parties I may have climbed on the garden shed for a laugh. Both times my dickhead mates got the hosepipe out and sprayed me when I was up there. One such dickhead never lets me forget about how I “had to be sprayed off a roof”

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I’d like our neighbour to drop my flatmate. Neighbour’s a right unit and flatmate needs teaching a lesson but I’m not capable of violence.

  • The rumour that I lost my trousers consistently at primary school (untrue - happened once to another kid, but I think they must have been pretty shy because the head thought it’d be better to pin it on me)
  • The fact that I fell in a vat if milk whilst working at a creamery
  • Jumped out my first floor window 3 years ago now, broke my ankle. Gets brought up regularly, especially when mentioning windows
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TBH Balonz I don’t get why it’s THIS poo story she comes back to ever 3 months and not the one about you breaking your dry shit free of your own arsehole with your bare hands

:smiley: You’ve made me realise unintelligible is kind of an onomatopoeia.

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I’ve missed two flights in my life, with approximately 15 years between them. My mum makes it out as if I miss every other flight I’ve booked or something — ignoring the fact she’s the one who kind of recently just flat out overslept for a flight.

DROP IT MA

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I kind of wish people would drop ‘oh Theo’ but whatcha gonna do’?

Also this thread has reminded me of the RIDICULOUS vocal work here

This has saddened me

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More or less than the change I made to your profile’s ‘name’ field? :smiley: