I fight against this too because the future is so woolly and I don’t know what’s going to happen at any given point, so I always try and be as straight-forward as possible with our kid. I think she’s figured out now that if I say ‘We’ll see’ it generally means that the thing is going to happen and I’m just trying to keep it as a surprise or something like that. It’s hard, you don’t want to just crush hopes all the time but also fuck, life doesn’t lay out the easiest paths either. I’ve been meaning to put a bike computer on her bike since before the pandemic, for example, but there’s always something else
I guess but if you said that to F she’d then take you on a big “What?” path where you’d have to explain what that statement even meant and it would be a whole thing that would take up 5 mins when you actually need to not have this conversation now.
Also in a lot of cases if I just said ‘no’ I’d have to deal with a huge tantrum
Very much this for my childhood too. If Jimbo asks for something that we can’t provide, or isn’t appropriate for whatever reason we try and say no then move onto something else quickly rather than him dwelling on a negative.
Maybe my issue with it is from it being said when I was older, early teens or something, it made me feel so fobbed off and worthless or like they were secretly laughing at me, holding this fake uncertainty over me and it has really stuck with me. I’ve definitely said it to M but have been very aware of it and try not to.
Yeah I mean different at different ages for sure.
I now understand why my dad would get mildly agitated when lights were left on and say something like
“Why is the house lit up like the Titanic”
Which is obviously hilarious