Things you're convinced you're better at when drunk/stoned (whether you actually are or not)

Let’s not get maudlin in here. Keep it light.

I become a FIFA god when baked. Fo sho.

(Though it might be difficult to prove).

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Speaking to people.

Drinking.

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I become Paul Newman in The Hustler after 3 pints.

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trivia quizzes

I think I lose inhibition and willing to blurt anything out which sometimes works.

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I was thinking that meant you could eat 50 boiled eggs but that’s the wrong film.

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Singing
Dancing
Flirting

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spending more money

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I’m pretty sure there’s an optimum drunk/stoned level where I’m better at everything. If I could be permanently on about 4 beers, a whisky and a small joint I’d be kicking life’s arse. The trouble comes if I go any further than that, when I become no use to anybody. Which is of course the only thing I want to do at that point.

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Pool is definitely a sport with a drinking sweet spot. Pretty sure I’ve never lost a game during my 3rd pint, and never won one after 4

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Being hilarious
Chopping onions

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The sex (if I wasn’t a virgin)

Playing guitar needs between one and two beers but then falls off an incredibly steep cliffedge

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When stoned: brushing my teeth. Become transfixed by it all

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Aw man. We should start some sort of association for this.

Perhaps a super league.

I am a stone-cold genius at brushing my teeth when baked. I incorporate all kinds of syncopation in there too. I’m like Stewart Copeland on my (g)nashers.

There’s a very narrow window (roughly between two and three pints) when i’m alright at speaking to The Women.

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^^^ always posts on here half-cut.

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Used to play football, then half-way through everyone would get pleasantly baked, at which point I always turned into Zinedine Zidane. #truefact

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fifa and IRL kick ups. I boss them when mortal on the herb.

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