Things you're invited to that you're never, ever going to attend


#1

University of St Andrews alumni events.


#2

Somewhere with a 70s glam rock dress code


#3

Everything ever, pretty much


#4

Your own fault for signing up to the mailing list, tbqfh.


#5

The office landlord’s halloween party,


#6


#7

bloke i worked with 6+ years ago for a month (before he got fired) has twice in the last month invited me on facebook to a comedy event in sweden

absolutely fo,m


#8

anything with the word ‘Flashmob’ anywhere near it


#9

#10

Fenino


#11

Wine and cheese night with Lucien and Balonz.


#12

Isle of Wight randonnee


#13

:scream:


#14

Weddings of people I barely know.


#15

Works Christmas do. Ordinarily I’d expect that once in a blue moon I might forget what a bad idea they are and opt in, but seeing as I’ve hopefully only got 4-8 more chances to make that mistake I’m pretty confident I will never again have to wear a cracker hat whilst eating a cold roast next to a colleague who I don’t know.


#16

A non-compulsory breakfast seminar.


#17

and a second vote for university alumnus events. Even I had loads of spare cash to give them I wouldn’t. Not unless they’d let me rename the college for it.


#18

unless it’s actually a seminar all about breakfasts, presumably?


#19

A gig happening in Norwich. Good line up, but it’s in Norwich.


#20

I get invitations to Queen Mary University, London ones too. I did a three month course there that was essentially my employer paying them £5k to exempt me from a bunch of professional exams. 100% pass rate.

There was a graduation and everything. Didn’t go, obviously.