Things you've done in Warwickshire

Ive got a nuneaton story

I was trying to get a job at uni, got an interview for a sales position and got dressed up in my 1 work dress and pair of heels. I tottered up to the place and got told that I have to do door to door sales and start now as part of the interview There were a bunch of braggy boys in suits, swaggering salesmen who thought they were the dogs bollocks but I got paired up with a relatively kind one. The lot of us went by train to nuneaton to start and it was winter and snowing. I am a tall person who never wears heels so my feet were in agony, I was trying not to slip and me and my teammate were doing really badly getting doors slammed in faces and shit, nobody wanted that talktalk broadband we were hawking. Anyway I’m frozen, hobbling and now aware that this is a pyramid scheme with 0 pay and commission only so I was over it already by the time it was dark and we met with the others in a pub. They pulled me over and one decided to continue the interview and ask me a question, this riddle. He was like, how do you fit ten horses in nine stables? And looking over at the other guys like “no way she’ll get this one lads”. I calmly excused myself to the bathroom where I pulled out my shitty smartphone (this was 2010) and looked up the answer. You had to write out 10 boxes and write n i n e h o r s e s in each and when they gave me the pen and paper I pretended to think and then light up and be like…is it this?? And they were all like :open_mouth:
Needless to say I never went back, ended up with a job in Birmingham’s german christmas market in the snow with a perv who knew me as Mickey becsuse I was apparently nervous like a mouse, in the reindeer fur stall, who told me to wear a tighter coat to show off my chest and told me I looked like a sausage in my (sensible padded) coat and also ended up with vegan protesters with placards depicting skinned cats who made me cry, I tried to tell them that people eat reindeer so they might as well go to clarks and yell about the leather shoes there but eventually the police hustled them away. After that I got a job near kenilworth castle in a pub and ended up getting fired after 3 days for being a shit waitress and had to walk home one night with my trainers in hand in the winter rain because my shoes hurt too much. What an awful introduction into the world of work it all was

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@gashwrecker ?

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Multiple poos.

Also various PhD funding boondoggles.

I’m going to be quite irked if it isn’t

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Been to Warwick Castle
Been to Stratford upon Avon
Been to Warwick Uni to do stuff
Played hockey in Leamington Spa

Oh Jesus I got absolutely fucking lost in Warwickshire.

Was doing some teacher training stuff and got invited to do a course at the University of Warwick in 2006.

Got out of the train at Warwick and was met with the horrible information that they keep the university of Warwick, not in Warwick as you might perhaps expect, but in fucking Coventry.

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Ate my first ever curry

Very nearly got caught out like that once, but fortunately a colleague mentioned it wasn’t actually in Warwick. I wonder why it’s called that; did they think Coventry sounded too common?

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Warwick, the Hyacinth Bucket of universities

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My great Uncle was the Mayor of Warwick (or Warwickshire, I’m not sure) a long time ago (he’s dead now).

His daughter, can’t work out what relation to me she is, but I went to see her last year for an afternoon and she’s in her 70’s now. Anyway, she was telling me she went out and got hammered in her early 20’s whilst my great Uncle was the Mayor of Warwick and the Queen Mother was there for some opening of something. She’s pulls up in her boyfriends car with a hangover from a heavy night before goes to head inside and the press all took pictures of her thinking she was Princess Anne.

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I’ve parked at the car park of Warwick Castle and walked up to the entrance, which is lined with people in medieval cosplay. Then I’ve taken a look at the entrance price for Warwick Castle, thought “fuck this” and then wandered off to do something else instead.

I think I’ve stayed in a B&B and a holiday cottage in Warwickshire but I can’t remember for certain.

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Visited a big park in Leamington Spa.
Got fucking soaked in heavy rain at Kenilworth Castle.
Tried unsuccessfully to obtain a prescription for migraine medication.
Went to Shakespeare’s gaff and got photo bombed by a twat in a bucket hat.
Had big pints at a Pizza Express.
Watched ‘The Death of Stalin’.
Cut our holiday short as our daughter had roseola.

(Excerpts from ‘Warwickshire Holiday Moments and Reflections Thereupon’, CeeJay, Faber and Faber 2020, £15 hardback)

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Had many a wee wee at Warwick services, both north and southbound

As castles go it was a good one. They had lots going on including falconry and a trebuchet

I have never been to Warwickshire, obviously.

I think it was something like £25 each. Probably fine if we had the whole day but I think we were only stopping off for an hour or so.

Is there a castles thread on here? I like a castle.

Also my dumbass was with friends in stratford upon avon once and I saw a sign for titus andronicus and brightened up, telling them I liked that band and wanted to find out more only for one of them to tell me blankly that it’s a shakespeare play :sob:

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Worked there for the last 7 years.

Had a shit breakfast at Debenhams cafe in Nuneaton last financial quarter.

Got my fucking heart broken, that’s what. Ffs.

Got a nice jumper that weekend tho.

Also some top teenage fumbling (separate occasion)