Can you see if the new slice fits perfectly in the outline of the old bread, please? Might be a clue to seeing if it’s the same brand?
Already binned it
Was giving me Warburtons vibes
Yeah, smart hunch. If I was gonna lob bread on a balcony you’d better believe its not gonna be Hovis
nobody ever gives me free mystery bread, you should count yourself lucky
Over lockdown me and my brother speculated about a game of throw the egg in the chimney, perhaps this is an unlicenced copycat offshoot
There’s no way a bird would leave it either. That’s like dropping a large Cadburys Dairy Milk and just being like ah well, fuck it.
Are you anywhere near a river or lake at all?
We are indeed right near an estuary.
New theory: An angler has gone fishing, hooked up this bread as bait but has cast their line too powerfully and its ended up on your balcony. This has happened twice.
Oh yeah didn’t think of that. That’ll be it.
It felt hard like it was toasted
But enough about BarleySugar’s member, what about this bread!?
IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE
But enough about BarleySugar’s wang, what about this bread!?
Aliens
Someone leaves stale bread out for the birds, probably quite a few birds turn up, any bird that can carry a whole slice is going to want to get away from the other birds that might steal it, one flies off and chooses your roof as a suitable place to eat, gets spooked by something and abandons the bread for a quick getaway. Twice.
Yeah I’m having that
Footlong and toasted
Italian Herb & Cheese!