Q: have I ever been in a room that has a bath but doesn’t have a shitter?

A: don’t think so

Then how do you know what you look like when you’re toweling your ringpiece?

*faints*

Ours doesn’t. It’s an oldish house where the toilet is in a separate room.

That said, we are going to remedy this as soon as we’ve got some spare cash (i.e. never probably).

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What? Ours is separated and it’s a new build.

I guess he might have had to invest in a spare after blocking one up with body parts he couldn’t face eating?

Maybe he’s got one of those saniflow macerating ones specifically for the bodies, given it must mush everything up.

I’ve never been in your house

it’s four

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It always comes back to mashing up shit with you doesn’t it? You’re obsessed.

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Then who talks free to you?

Hmm, they struggle with anything firmer than a large poo.

you’re missing out on one of life’s great pleasures

(interrupting the TVs relaxing bath by taking a shit and maintaining eye contact throughout)

Eleven

Wait, you have a basement toilet ?

Makes sense. Also for if you drink too much wine in unimaginable basement luxury.

Incorrect.

Alright, who’s next?

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Is it one, in the garden, shared with the neighbours, and everyone has to provide their own newspaper?

Is this just because you drank 96 bottles of wine?

Don’t let those interior designers and their chihuahuas bully you like that.