Yo this is going to need a fair whack of nuance I think so:
No assumptions about why this is the case unless it’s offered up, be mindful.
If you’re on the fence about having kids, or one half of a couple that’s split in its intentions, this is also the place to chat, but again be mindful.
If you DO have kids browse at your own risk: this thread is absolutely not suggesting anything negative about your own choices on any level. That said, if anything goes that way I’ll obviously get posts removed.
Alright so to start then, I’m 34 and my wife is 30. Since we met seven years ago, life has gotten noticeably better year on year, has brought a lot of positive change, and has basically been a dream.
We check in with each other about once a year to see if there’s any urge or broody sentiment to add a baby to the mix, and so far there’s nothing there: we think about the life we’re privileged to live and would rather continue to enjoy that for now. Fwiw i feel confident saying that if she or I did want kids, the other would go for it. It’s not that a baby would would ruin our lives, then, just that given the option of what we have or making concessions, we currently both feel ‘what we have’ is the raddest of options.
One thing in the back of our minds is that irrational fear that one of us or both will suddenly panic when it’s ‘too late’. In my head, and without any research, I would assume adoption would be an option. This wouldn’t be a problem to either of us as both our families have experience with adopted children and fostering now.
But it feels like a vague plan because honestly the need isn’t there. On the other hand, I tend to plan ahead to try and cut off problems at the pass, so talking about this helps quite a lot. Anyone else wonder if they need a ‘what if’ contingency and would it even be feasible?
Do your folks care? Do they know? Does it matter?
Anyway I’ll throw this open to you guys: you can be as open about your reasons as you want and if you say something and then think better of it we can get a mod to disappear it.
Cheers dis, feels good to be open about this shit with you lot. OH AND this ain’t just for couples, obviously.