Thread for people who don’t want kids, general discussion #SSP

i’ve seen people heel turn at 40 so you’re not out the woods yet :smiley: neither am i for that matter

My sister was the most vehement ‘I hate kids, I never want to have one’ person I had ever come across (missus!). Then she smashed one out at 42 and is now the most soppy, doting mother about. I would never have believed it.

3 Likes

it can come for anyone, a genetically coded madness.

if it happens to me, someone get my hot tub to a safe place and treat it well

2 Likes

You mean your custom birthing pool?

8 Likes

felt a genuine pang of angst

I’ve had 2 kids in the last 13 months (first one was born June 2018 and the second one May 2019). I can confirm that it is physically & mentally demanding, you don’t have any time to do anything that you used to do and it costs a fortune, so i can completely understand anyone not having kids for those reasons.

4 Likes

Yep. I think even if i developed some sudden maternal urge the negatives would still have me like noooope

in this heat i can barely keep myself alive

no thanks to having to keep other people alive too

5 Likes

I was pretty much 39 + 2 months when it got me.

I’ve been meaning to watch the ‘I am…’ series of treatments but not got around to it yet (plan to do so at the weekend).
this one (I am Hannah) is supposed to be interesting, and it’s good to see this subject being tackled-

3 Likes

That is an incredibly demanding gap between babies and no wonder you’re feeling the way you do! (another way of looking at it is getting the tough bit out of the way in one go!!)

This thread being bumped has reminded me that recently when my wife went to get a new implant, the nurse commented that it was her second one, asked her how old she was, and said okay, you’ve still got time but you should be thinking ahead for children at your age

My immediate impulse was to figure out the quickest route to having that person reprimanded, preferably fired. The Mrs dissuaded me after a while.

Imagine being that much of a cunt while holding that job

That is absolutely horrendous. Was this at a GP surgery as opposed to a family planning centre? I’ve found people at sexual health/ FP clinics are so much more aware and sensitive than your average nurse in a provincial GP surgery. My very well meaning asthma nurse asked me outright recently whether I was ‘cracking on with number 2’ and I nearly burst into tears as tbh I am a bit head in sand about it, and it was none of her goddamn business. But again I know she was just meaning well and however unprofessional of her, I wasn’t going to dob her in.

1 Like

same :confused:

Yeah it was GP. Couldn’t quite believe it. And as you say have had much better care from family planning. It’s the same doctor who then proceeded to fuck up the implant and put it too deep into the muscle. was beyond livid. and like you say there’s just so many reasons why it’s insanely wrong to go down that road of enquiry, even if you DO know someone’s medical history.

It’s also just plain wrong, the advice, as it presupposes that the implant is some kind of nuclear missile that once unleashed imposes 5 years of barrenness. I had the implant too for a while and didn’t get along with it ata ll, and when I went to have it removed I was warned in very serious terms by the nurse that loads of people fall pregnant within a couple of weeks of having an implant removed (seems to have some kind of hormone surge as the synthetic progesterone leaves your system which makes you ovulate quite quickly). So 1. it’s entirely reversible and 2. fertility comes back v quickly. So not only did the nurse have no place making that comment, it’s not like it was even backed up by some kind of genuine concern (which might be justified if she was doing something irreversible and long-term like sterilisation).

2 Likes

Aw man I thought I was just super virile

6 Likes

Also just seen that it was the doctor who did it.

I don’t let GPs cut me (and that includes taking blood)- nurses are much better! Poor A :cry:

1 Like

This week’s Kathy Burke program could be of interest to posters in this thread, with her discussing her decision not to have kids with other who have chosen different paths. Still on, if anyone’s reading this right now.

There was a thing she mentioned - about how she was poor growing up and selfishly didn’t want to be poor by spending on kids - that really resonated how I felt in my twenties / early thirties.

One of our NCT mums did it on her own - paid to get IVF out in Barcelona if I remember right. It’s 2019, so people should be able to have kids (or not) however they like.

1 Like