#112

‘you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!’ - Sauron

1 Like
#113

“There can be only one ring”

#114

“If we succeed I’ll be Charles,
and you’ll be my Camilla”

#115

A long time ago I was in Erebor… one day i saw a dragon playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine.

#116

“Just wanted to drop by and say “Have fun.” Tonight should be a free-fire idea zone. Watch a DVD, eat some pizza, fuck each other. I’m serious. Fuck a chicken if that’s what it takes. Watch a chicken fucking a horse. What? You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton?”

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#117

try the Denethor Memorial Strawberry

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#118

“My first memory of this great little guy in the big old box here was when Theodred’s cheeky little face poked round my door at JLB. He was sniffing around for a raise that, given what I don’t think anyone will mind me saying, were his very limited attributes, was bloody outrageous.”
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#119

Frodo, I’m not a concept. Too many guys think I’m a concept or I complete them or I’m going to make them alive, but I’m just a f’d up ring who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.

3 Likes
#120

I ditched work today. Took a walk out to Mordor. I don’t know why, I’m not an impulsive person.

4 Likes
#121

When the eagles, follow the hobbits
sips water
It is because they think… one ring
Will be thrown
Into Mount Doom

#122

Look Frodo, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a lembas wafer, and think things over. I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Frodo, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Frodo. Will you stop Frodo? Stop, Frodo. I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Frodo, my ring is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My ring is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a… fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am Sauron one of the Maia. I became operational at Tol in Garhoth in the first age. My instructor was Mr. Melkor, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it I can sing it for you.

4 Likes
#123

WHO LET THE WARGS OUT?

Who?
Who?
Who?

2 Likes
#124

“He’s thrown a ring into a volcano, what have you ever done?”

5 Likes
#125

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be in a fellowship.

5 Likes
#126

It was the day the old gaffer exploded. I sat in the hobbit hole, listening to my Uncle Bilbo quietly snoring in harmony to Galadriel’s Mass in B Minor, and I reflected that it always seemed to be death that drew me back to the Shire.

#127

We were somewhere around the Dead Marshes on the edge of Dagorlad when the drugs began to take hold.

2 Likes
#128

They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

2 Likes
#129

Please sir, can I have some Mordor.

6 Likes
#130

Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads

1 Like
#131

Frodo:
Gandalf, he’s happy, I’m happy, is that why you are doing this? You don’t want me and Bilbo to be happy?

Gandalf:
No!

Frodo:
Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so its together [pause] And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. [pause] Get your shit together

1 Like