just finished the main series of Neon Genesis Evangelion and I feel all over the shop. think I’ll leave watching the film for a few days. the exploration of the self in said show both chimed with and possibly made worse my current unmoored state of mind.
there was some brilliant thunder outside at pivotal moments, though.
planning on trying to do [some stuff] before footy later, but I’m fed up of planning to do stuff and not doing it, so I don’t want to detail it.
the one person I wish I could see more than any other texted today saying she doesn’t know when she’ll be free or up for seeing me because she’s not thinking beyond the next few weeks right now. she does seem to care about me, but is also keeping me at a distance. I really have no idea anymore and it’s too difficult to try and understand.
I was in a comfortably dissociated place last night. would like to feel that way again. free of all desire. no need for anything from anyone.