Hello from Stansted departures. I’m sat here with a good 90 mins before my departure
Rest assured, if I had a bicycle helmet with me, I would be wearing it (cc: @plasticniki)
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Why, are you riding a bike?
No, just the greatest story ever told
Edit: found it
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What is the story? 
Omg how do you not know this story
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Good evening.
Bought loads of yellow sticker bargs in Sainsbury’s on the way home from the gym. Garlic bread, aioli, potato salad, posh cupcakes. We’re going to have an interesting dinner / leftovers tomorrow.
Child is wolfing down a crumpet (she had dinner at lunchtime). Got the oven on for some 49p garlic bread.
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Omg the thought of having to board a plane with a helmet on my head 
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Made the faffiest Gousto meal ever, absolute nightmare
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Cor
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Every mouthful better than the last 
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Evening all!
We had sausagey potatoes for tea but there were nowhere near enough sausages.
It’s not my turn for bedtime but Wor Lass isn’t in a great mood and I think I might be the contingency plan.
It doesn’t look like he’d let you leave if you wanted to.
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Hii,
On a train, it’s fine. Had a M&S sandwich and a packet of crisps for dinner. Got two little Proseccos too because I’m on holiday tomorrow, might crack one open.
Byee.
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Veg pastry tart for dinner, maybe an NA beer also
More X-Files, more The Wire
Earlier to end than last few nights, don’t need midweek 1ams that often cheers
Are you in the secret @profk and Dr Epimer lounge? If not, why not?
I’m very tired. I got up at 5 to drive to Brum and make some shit jokes then drive home and I’d like to sleep but I had some £5.40 Starbucks oat milk caffeine and sugar injection and now I’m convinced that I’ll never sleep again
I’m on the train back from that London place. It’s 5 carriages instead of the booked 9. Some people couldn’t get on 
I’m also now slightly anxious as I had a couple of pints before and am therefore likely to need a wee in the not too distant future. I’m not confident of being able to get through to the loo, tbh
Sometimes he’ll just stare at me for about 10 minutes straight, think he’s probably trying to work out if he’s big enough to eat me whole
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