Thursday Filth - A bunch of rankers

We all love to rate and rank stuff, but do you / can you do the same for your sexual experiences? Do you have a top ten of nights (or days) of ecstatic sexual bliss? Does one particular evening stand out atop your mountain of horny history? How many of these events include your current partner?

Let’s rank the wank bank.

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Let me open up the ol’ spreadsheet

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Never heard it called that before

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When I was a teenager I kept a little sex journal, it was a little book that had a red silk embroidered cover and felt suitably sexy for the purpose - to a 17 year old at least. I had a blue version of it too that was my angsty teenage poetry mostly about how much I hated life and my parents, one I wrote entirely in Spanish but like…from looking up words in a dictionary not following any grammar or rules of the Spanish language. God, I was an insufferable teenager.

Anyway, I found the sex book a few years ago at my mum’s, immediately removed that from the premises then I think my partner at the time wanted to read it and I’m sure he still has it but I would like it to self combust please, wherever it is.

I don’t remember what any of it said unfortunately as I’m sure it would be excellent #content but there were some that I simply do not remember and would swear to you never happened. Quite the revelation! I had a lot of sex when I was a teenager and don’t think a single time was good. Some was memorable because it was like a first threesome or whatever or finally hooking up with someone I was really into, but good? Absolutely not.

Anyway, I’ve had lots of very exciting casual encounters especially in the last 10 years or so but it’s always the absolute best when it’s with someone you love isn’t it, or at least very close to and comfortable with.

(Will caveat this with you can of course love someone and the sex not be good/not be compatible).

Might recount some later depending on how the rest of the thread pans out but I’m sad to say I have an absolutely terrible memory…and I’m not going first.

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The place had great energy. I remember when I first spent time down there. I was 14 years old and I went down there all alone, just with a candle and an old, old copy of Henry Miller. And I just had the most amazing wank. It really just bust me open. I couldn’t believe that I had this instrument right there. Isn’t it amazing, that first big wank?

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i have had few enough sexual partners for it to be very easy for me to rank them

I don’t have a list of best experiences but I probably could if I wanted to, although highest quality =/= ‘best’

Actually no I know what the #1 is and it was the evening after going to see a Farsley Celtic match

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Also this thread is pure

so of course I’m all over it.

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No greater aphrodisiac than the National League North

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very privileged to be in a great-for-both-parties sexual relationship, but in the last decade there have absolutely been some stand-out nights that keep me warm when i’m away on work :smiley:

(i should very clearly add that i have been with my partner for a decade)

Kind of related, but does anyone actually have a ‘wank bank’? I can enjoy thinking about hot things that happened in the past, but I never think about it when I’m wanking or whatever. It’s always more focused on future… opportunities?

Definitely. 50/50 daydreams/past experiences here

Yeah the idea of this happening is genuinely something that regularly gives me the fear.

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I comfort myself with the facts that (A) I haven’t slept with very many people and (B) it probably wouldn’t be a high-ranking experience for them anyway, so I’ve at least set my expectations appropriately

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Ah, I see you’ve figured out how I sleep at night.

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What do you think of the cool set in London?
You’re constantly updating your hit parade of your ten biggest wanks

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:grinning: :grinning: :grinning:

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Had the best sex of my life a couple months ago, definite number one.

I’ve been with Lloyds for 20 years and their customer service leaves a lot to be desired

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I’ve realised that I’ve always set the bar pretty low for a “good” sexual experience tbh. Like, does the person have adequate personal hygiene, respect for the concept of consent and some understanding of female anatomy? I’ve been thinking of that as “good” when it’s actually “absolute bare minimum”

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